Need advice from guys only please?

I have been in a marriage for 5 years know,I have 3 boys but the oldest is from a previous relationship before my husband.My son has adhd and is really defiant he is really hard to handle at times(most of the time)and it seems to me like my husband is always raging on him.I know he is just trying to help but hes always down his throught and when i dont agree he always says why are you undermining my authotity.It seems to me that he loves being in control.My 4 year old is following in my oldest sons footsteps and my husband is not down his throught like he is my oldest sons.Recently my husband said that i need to start being a mom and laying down the rules more and i do that all day but he dont see it.He has recently said to me that when he gets home the house is a mess but all i do is clean all day,why is it that he dont notice anything i do?For the past few years hes stopped buying me stuff for christmas,my b-day,ect and recently he has been looking at my history on my myspace im.I have not given him any reason to be checking up on me.When he gets home from work all he wants to do is play his ex box and he shows no interest in me and i have asked him about it but he says well you want to watch tv and he doesnt like the shows i watch and i have asked him if he wants to watch something else but he never shows no interest.Need advice from guys only please?
First of all, don't listen to the person who said a man comes a dime a dozen. This is your husband and the father of two of your children. Also, don't argue or fight with him in front of the kids. It undermines both of your authorities, and so your oldest son feels like he doesn't have to listen to either one of you. Perhaps he needs more attention from the both of you, not just disciplinary attention either. Talk to your husband alone and tell him you feel like he doesn't treat your eldest son equally. All you really gotta do is talk it out. Another idea: clean the house really well one day (get the kids to help) so good that it impresses him, then talk to him alone and say ';I'll clean the house like this once a week if you take a break from the xbox for awhile....you know....compromise.'; Lastly, you need to be aware that your kids will listen to you if they know both you and your husband are on the same side. Children can sense when there is conflict and it's not going to help your family.Need advice from guys only please?
For starters, pitch the TV and the x-box.


Start talking to each other, for gods' sake.
I know you said guys only but you need a sista in on this one. I am going to tell you like it is. Now with your son it is just some men don't like other men kids point blank and the feel like they are taking care of someone else mess. Now as for you and him. He has lost interest in you and the whole relationship. I wouldn't be suprise if there is another woman some where in the picture. That is why he is searching in you myspace. All I am saying is don't sit there and wait for him to tell you it is over you have 3 babies to think about. A man comes a dime a dozen. Good Luck